For two decades, his job and purpose in life was to heal people. But Dr Mohammed Abu Mughaisib also wanted to stay alive.
So, when he could no longer even look after himself, and the hunger was too much to bear, he took a rare chance to leave Gaza.
I would never have imagined starving, the Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) medic said. But my head hurt and I had pain in my stomach from starvation.
After working non-stop at hospitals throughout Gaza over the past two years, Dr Abu Mughaisib was evacuated to Ireland in mid-September, along with students taking up scholarships.
Safe and fed, he reflects on his time working in increasingly dire conditions as Israel's offensive destroyed medical infrastructure.
The decision was very difficult, he told me, sitting in a peaceful park in Dublin – with birdsong, rather than bullets, as a backdrop.
I'm physically here but my heart and soul are in Gaza, he said. It's very strange seeing people living a normal life, and it will take time to get used to it.
His experiences paint a grim picture. Struggling to eat, he admitted, I can't enjoy a proper meal knowing my colleagues are suffering. Medical facilities were overwhelmed. Starving doctors were treating malnutrition. Dr. Abu Mughaisib's heart weighs heavy as he worries for the many who remain behind, still risking their lives in an environment of devastation and despair.
Even in safety, he finds it hard to shake the memories of chaos: the desperation of patients, the destruction around him, and the moral dilemmas he faced as a healer. As he navigates this new world, Dr. Abu Mughaisib is left with haunting questions about the recovery and future of Gaza.
