Gazan Resilience: A Teacher's Struggle Amidst the Chaos of War

In a heart-wrenching audio diary, Hanya Aljamal reflects on her life before the conflict in Gaza. As a former English teacher, she grapples with her new reality of displacement and loss, fighting to find meaning in the chaos that surrounds her. Through acts of daily resilience, like watching kites fly and aiding children, Hanya captures the bittersweet beauty of life amid destruction.

Hanya Aljamal feels as though the life she once knew before the war was an illusion, a sentiment articulated vividly during a morning on her small balcony in Deir al-Balah, Gaza. "I don't think God intended for people in their late 20s to live with their parents," she remarks as she finds a slim pocket of peace alongside her mother, father, and five grown siblings in a household shared in cramped quarters. Just two years ago, Hanya, then 28, was navigating a flourishing career as an English teacher, preparing for a Master's program in international development, buoyed by promising scholarship prospects. Now, her world appears vastly different.

Sipping coffee while observing her elderly neighbor care for his garden—an oasis amidst the shattered remnants of buildings—Hanya calls the scene "the purest form of resistance." This poignant moment emphasizes her struggle; her school has shuttered due to the ongoing war, leaving her without students or a sense of purpose. "Finding solace or meaning as your entire world falls apart is incredibly difficult," she confides.

Since the onset of conflict in October 2023, Hanya has moved five times, mirroring the plight of many Gazans displaced, with UN estimates suggesting that 90% of the population has faced relocations. On a typical day, explosions and sounds of warfare punctuate her experience, as the Israeli military conducts operations that they assert target Hamas. Yet, these operations have resulted in the devastating loss of over 56,000 lives, mostly civilians, according to Gaza’s Ministry of Health, amidst stringent restrictions preventing free international media coverage.

Amidst the chaos of everyday life, Hanya works for Action for Humanity, assisting in projects that provide emotional support to young girls affected by the conflict. While watching them dance, she is reminded of their significant losses, sparking a wave of grief that overwhelms her. “It’s hard to control anything in this environment—far beyond physical survival, it even affects our thoughts and identities,” she shares.

Despite this turmoil, pockets of beauty and hope emerge, such as the day she sees colorful kites soaring above—a symbol of childhood aspirations amid despair. "Kites are an active act of hope," Hanya reflects, contrasting them with the nightly drone surveillance that haunts her surroundings. Gunfire, which punctuates the day, leaves her uncertain if it signals theft, a conflict, or something far worse as she struggles with malnutrition and psychological strains.

As the festival of Eid al-Adha arrives, Hanya finds herself grieving the loss of normalcy; her family struggles without the means to celebrate, and the shooting of a cousin seeking aid emphasizes the desperate and tragic conditions of their reality. She estimates knowing ten individuals lost that she cared for, including former students and mentors. The weight of these losses isolates her grief as it becomes a luxury she feels unable to afford.

Every dawn brings Hanya to her balcony as she seeks solace looking upward, where the sky offers hues of hope. “Everything is grey or destroyed, but the sky provides colors and a moment of respite,” she muses, revealing the depth of her longing for beauty amidst the devastation surrounding her life in Gaza.